Friends with Benefits
by simply dZ
Summary: First they were neighbors, then friends...with benefits, and all the while they were as close as siblings. And that's all they were ever meant to be? It's a little bit more complicated than that! SxS rated for obvious reasons.
1. Meeting

**Friends with Benefits**

By simplydZ

**In dedication:**

**Elli Cole **

(The dear that reminded me on her profile that I've been gone too long)

**& The 97 dears that put me on their author alert lists**

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**Chapter 1: Meeting**

Her small frame stood out awkwardly from the mass of skyscrapers, a vibrant pink in front of the hideous gray. She was hunched over something seemingly precious.

He recognized her as his neighbor.

"What are you doing here?" It was far from their apartment complex.

He wasn't graced with a response, "I'm Syaoran, and you are?"

She finally turned around, and he was momentarily stunned by the brightness of her huge emerald eyes.

She didn't answer his questions, "the dandelion." She shuffled slightly on her feet, and the small flower came into view.

It was as vibrant as she.

She had turned her gaze back to the delicate flower, "it's quite beautiful, isn't it? I didn't think I would find something like this here, in this gray city."

The maturity in her voice sent shivers throughout his body; was a little child supposed to sound so aloof?

He didn't respond; sometimes, he too felt quite a strong contempt for the encaging city, for the arrogant buildings that hid the preciously blue sky. But a response would have been merely a surplus of words. She had made her point clear, and he agreed with it.

Instead, "are you lost?"

There was no presumptuousness in his voice, simply curiosity. She knew, and matched his stare with her own.

"I think so," her response was nonchalant.

"Let me take you home," he offered a hand.

She took it, "I'm Sakura, nice to meet you, Ran-neechan[1!" A smile had spread across her face, never quite reaching her sad eyes.

Syaoran was bewildered, and showed it by suddenly withdrawing his hand, "wait, I'm a boy! Not a girl! See," he pointed frantically to his face, as if to prove a point.

"But Ran-neechan looks exactly like a girl!" she grabbed his hands suddenly, a surprisingly sweet act. A giggle escaped her lips.

And she had a point. Li Syaoran at nine-years-old was a pre-pubescent; his voice had not cracked yet, and his shaggy hair only accentuated his beautiful features. His cheeks were youthfully rosy, and his lips annoyingly full – he had not yet grown into his masculinity.

He decided not to counter the seven-year-old. What was the use, when he knew that she was speaking the truth? Instead, he gently tugged at her hands, slowly walking in the direction he knew to be home.

Sakura knew he had consented, and swung their hands happily back and forth. He looked at her begrudgingly, but she knew also that he was hiding amusement.

But as they got closer to home, Sakura became more reluctant. The swinging stopped, and she started to drag her feet.

Syaoran finally turned around, "what's wrong?"

She was no longer nonchalant, "I don't want to go back…"

"Why not?"

"Because," she hesitated, as if ashamed to voice her thoughts, "Because my classmates say that my mom's a bad person."

He looked at her expectantly. He knew what she was talking about; his mother had personally made a call from Hong Kong warning him not to associate with his new neighbor. She had told him that his neighbor worked as a hostess at a nightclub, that she was a bad breed. He had curtly replied that they had no right to talk; after all, didn't half of the Li fortunes exist only because they had dabbled in the wrong side of the law? And that was the end of that.

And now he was holding her hand, perhaps not comfortingly, but undeniably expectantly.

"They say that my mom is a bad person, because she takes away husbands from their wives. And that I'm going to school with their dads' money, and that I should be ashamed that my mom is such a bad person…"

Bluntly, "and do you think your mom is a bad person?"

For the first time, she showed vulnerability, and he was relieved.

"No…I think she's the greatest mom. She's sweet, and caring, and has the prettiest laugh."

"And that's why you're scared, because you don't want to find out that the mom you love so much may be as bad as they say she is."

She nodded mutely.

"And do you think she's a bad person?"

She shook her head vigorously.

"Then that's all that matters."

Her eyes locked with his, searching, pleading. "Really?"

His eyes intense, he nodded. Another smile broke out on her face, "ok! I trust you, Ran-neechan!"

He felt his heart twist a little, and smiled faintly back. He knew he didn't comfort her for her sake, but for his own. Because here was another pair of eyes that looked as sad as his, as worn, matured, as vulnerable. He felt superior being able to help her, because underneath the aloof exterior, he knew she was pitiful. It was a dreadfully beautiful feeling. He didn't know if he deserved her trust, though he knew he wanted it.

But all of that didn't matter.

What mattered was simply the sweet, sorrowful voice resounding in his head. There was a selfish part of him that wanted to hear it always, forever even…

_Ran-neechan!_

**TBC**

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[1 Ran-neechan: neechan is a more informal way of saying onee-san, which means big sister. Ran is Sakura's pet name for Syaoran, taking the last part of his name. It reflects Sakura's mistake and belief that Syaoran is a girl, and also the endearment. 

&&&

Disclamer: CCS DOES NOT BELONG TO ME! At ALL! Or else I'll be pretty rich and happy :D

I'm back! You guys must be really mad…can you forgive me?

I suppose not really…I mean, what kind of an author goes on a 2-year hiatus?

I have some plans for Deep Water, though I'm not sure if I'm going to continue it (I'm kind of bad on long-term things…)

This was a celebration for the end of my college application process (yay! I'm 18, can you guys believe it?! It's been 5 years since I joined FfdotNet!), I'm quite excited about this fic.

**Hahaha…please support? Leave love via that little button on the bottom left?**

**And if you guys can throw in some constructive criticism – maybe the two are a little too mature? And what's your impression of the two? Do you like them? Dislike them? Hate them? Love them? Love me (haha, just kidding!)?**

-dZ


	2. Bullying

**Friends with Benefits**

By simplydZ

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**Chapter 2: Bullying**

"Ran-neechan!"

_A compacted playground, the cherry blossoms playing with his hair…_

He turned around to greet her voice, the blossoms swirling off his head. Her voice was strong.

She was running towards him, uprooting sand. When she reached him, she instinctively took his hand, and he smiled faintly at the innocent act.

But her eyes didn't reflect the nonchalant smile on her lips.

"Ran-neechan, teach me to be strong!"

He didn't ask what was wrong; one look at her pleading eyes told him all he needed to know, the half-finished sentence ringing in his mind. She was being bullied again. But if she had the grace and courage to put up a façade, what right did he have to break it, to unleash the waterfall behind it?

An eyebrow shot up and a mirthful smirk curled at his lips, "and how do you expect me to do that?"

She pouted.

He teased further, "what if I don't want to help?"

But he did want to help, only if in an attempt to save himself. Because he knew that under so many pretensions, so much haughtiness, he was just as pitiably conflicted. Such a distant Mother, such a disgustingly planned future, such an ostentatious Clan…all in such an indescribably horrible clash against his inner most morals, that pleaded with him to stop before he took a step further, further into the family business, into the wrong side of the law.

He knew that the only thing that differentiated him from Sakura was the fact that he wasn't bullied; he was feared, idolized, respected, only because nobody knew the wrongness of his influential Clan. Because he had the cowardice of secrecy, because he was afraid to admit his major flaw, because he was ashamed of what he was born into, and he admired her bravery for standing up for the mistake cruelly pushed upon her.

When he helped her, he felt as if he had regained a shred of self-worth, of hope.

"Alright, alright," he gave in, secretly smiling. "And how shall I be of service?"

Her lips curved down in a determined pout, "teach me how to fight. No matter what I say to them, they won't listen to me. So I want to show them, that what they say don't matter to me. I want to become good at everything, so that they can't complain about anything anymore. But before all of that, teach me to fight, so they don't think I'm some weakling that they can push around." Kids could be unexpectedly cruel, propelled by their parents' prejudices, motivated by words they did not yet understand. At times, violence was the only method of communication.

Syaoran agreed to help.

He taught her everything he had ever learned, enlisting the help of wooden dummies and wooden swords. They met everyday promptly at three, in the compacted playground by their apartment complex. It was their haven.

And while she was fighting for her liberation, he was fighting for his own liberation. While she was building up the courage to stand up for herself, he was mastering the courage to stand up for what he believed in. While she was fighting to love her mother, he was fighting to disengage himself from the Clan. And though they were fighting against cruelties, together they believed.

They believed in each other.

And together they learned to believe in themselves.

And one red evening, hand in hand, "Sakura, when are you ever going to stop calling me Ran-neechan? I'm a boy!"

And her lips spread in a cheeky grin, her petite face almost glowing in the setting sunlight, "when you start looking like a boy, Ran-neechan!"

An almost wistful chuckle escaped his throat.

_Ran-neechan…_

**TBC**

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Uh wow, this short chapter took me such a long time to write. Probably because I wasn't quite the most motivated writing this. Horrible, I know, but this chapter was only a leading up chapter, so it wasn't the greatest.

Disclaimer, as always: no own CCS!

I hope you guys enjoyed! And are enjoying your summer vacation, I trust?

Leave love :)


	3. Kissing

**Friends with Benefits**

By simplydZ

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**Chapter 3: Kissing**

They had shed their innocence. They had always been aware, so painfully aware of the circumstances of their lives, an annoying flicker in the back of their minds, a constant reminder in the background of their everyday lives.

Ever since cognition, they had been aware.

But they had been hopeful. They had been hopeful that perhaps as the time went by, the corruption would lift. That his family would realize their wrong doings, that her mother would be able to escape her painful sexual cage.

They hadn't. She hadn't.

But they had learned to deal. He had grudgingly accepted that he was powerless at a mere age of seventeen, that his elders were complicated, that they weren't black and he wasn't white as he dreamt in his childhood. They were complicated. And he was no angel.

And she had reluctantly accepted her mother's occupation, had seen her mother's imperfections, had seen through her mother's reluctance and inability to step away. And she had learned to love her mother, imperfection and all. Because at fifteen, that was the best she could do. That was the best she could do for her tattered mother, because she was no savior.

They had shed their innocence. The circumstances of their lives had dulled to a subtle ache.

But that ache seemed to temporarily fade as he gently nibbled on her lower lip.

It was an impulse.

It was the ice cream. He blamed the ice cream. He blamed the skimpy summer uniform, he blamed the sprinklers in the fountain she had just happily jumped through, an exuberant smile on her beautiful features. He blamed her radiance, the simple innocence in her giggle as she licked her popsicle, blamed the way a droplet had trickled down her now see-through shirt.

He tasted her strawberry ice cream on her lips, and ignored as he heard the same popsicle drop from the delicately small hand he had grabbed to pull her closer and deepen the kiss.

He had never done that before. He had never been so impulsive. He had had many other kisses in his short life, with many other girls.

He had never imagined any of them to be with Sakura.

"Syaoran…?" her voice was tentative as they broke apart, and she looked up at him with wide eyes and cheeks and lips slightly redder than usual.

And he dived back in to the bliss that was her, and he could only imagine in the back of his mind the scene they most likely made, kissing in front of a beautiful fountain in a beautifully green park under a beautifully blue and sunny sky.

And even after so many kisses with so many others, this first one with Sakura felt so much more right.

And he felt like a blubbering helpless sap.

"Why did you do that?" he demanded as they broke apart again.

Why do you have such a beautiful smile on your face? Why do you see life so beautifully, so innocently, so courageously, when you and I both know how less than innocent it is? How difficult it is? How painful it is?

"Do what?" her eyes were wide from confusion this time.

"Do that. That! Jump into that blasted fountain! Now you're soaking wet!"

Do that, that smile that shows how in love you are, in love with life because you believe it so beautiful? How do you have the courage to believe, to accept the worst of your situation?

She giggled, "because it's such an amazing day, Syaoran! The sun's shining the right way and the sky is so brilliantly blue, and it's so good to be alive, and why shouldn't I jump into the fountain?"

She saw the frown on his face.

"Oh, lighten up, Ran-neechan!" she giggled.

His frown deepened at her pet name for him, but he grabbed her and wrapped his jacket around her nonetheless.

"You'll get a cold, idiot," he grumbled. And all the guys can see through your shirt. Idiot.

"And I can see your bra," he gently teased.

She playfully smacked his arm, "watch where you're staring, mister!"

And they laughed.

She was no longer that brave and helpless little girl that had come to him for help. She was no longer bullied, for she had proven to her peers her worth. She had proven with her hard work her intelligence, had proven her wit, and had won their love and respect with her charm and infectious laughter. Everyone knew of her mother, but they no longer spoke to her and of her in hushed and harsh tones.

Because she was beautiful, and they admired her.

He admired her.

He was jealous of her.

And as he watched her twirl around on the grass, lightness in her steps, he laughed at her silliness. He had never imagined any of those kisses to be with Sakura.

That was a disgustingly blatant lie.

He loved her.

And he was scared.

He wanted to protect her.

He was ashamed. What could he do? He was a coward.

He didn't deserve her.

But he loved her.

"Syaoran! Come play with me!" she laughed mid-twirl.

He grinned, "you're a weird one!"

"Syaoran!" A pout.

He loved her.

**TBC**

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Disclaimer: me no own CCS!

I can't believe it took me two summers, 4 semesters, and countless heartaches to put this up. I know this one doesn't have that many readers, but I hope that whoever that's left that isn't fed up with my idiocy and lack of dedication will give it another chance.

Because it seems that no matter what path my life takes me down, no matter how busy I am and no matter how far I segway from my writing, it always comes back. And sometimes I'll re-read my old works (if anyone can call it that) and wonder what would happen to the characters. Because even I don't know, heh.

And sometimes, in these fits of lunacy I'll actually want to see what happens to these characters I created. And sometimes, I'll finally get the courage to follow through, and play with these stories that I started when I was still so much younger and so much more naïve and so much more immature.

I'm still debating whether or not to continue. If I do, I think it may be Hubris next. Then perhaps Deep Water.

Who knows?

But I'm in love and I'm out of love and I want to share these with the whole world, if you would give me that chance.


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